Minor Identity Crisis

I have to admit, when I became a mom I went through a minor identity crisis. Things about me just changed overnight (or over nine months) and now I'm getting to know the new me.

First of all, my body is a different shape. Things are in different places and there seems to be more of me. The usual things I do to get in shape no longer work. I have lost all ability to control cravings and although the scale says I am only five pounds heavier than before I got pregnant, it feels and looks like 25. Who's body is this anyways? It's not the one I remember, and although I'd like it to be slightly smaller in all dimensions, in a strange way I'm proud of it. It's healthy and it created a healthy baby boy and continues to keep him healthy. It's been through a lot and so it deserves a break from criticism.



Second, my hair is different. For many years I looked in the mirror and saw big crazy curly hair. After so long you just get used to that reflection. Now I have straight short hair. Who is this person staring back at me? Although the reflection is slightly different, it reflects a happy, fulfilled and busy mom who needed to spend less time on her hair and more time on the floor playing ball with her boy.



Third, my wardrobe is different. I spent many years (and many dollars) building up quite a collection of professional career clothes. I didn't used to own a pair of flat shoes, except for my converse which I just wore on weekends. I loved my skirts and stilletos, which I've now traded for flats and fat pants. What do you call this new style of clothes I'm wearing? Don't worry Ann Taylor, I'll be back. But only if the sale is really good, it's totally comfortable, and I can run and jump and play in it. (And I still dress up once in a while too!)



Fourth, my conversations. Once I became a stay at home mom I expanded my friend network to include other stay at home moms. For the first few months I found I didn't fit in so well. I was so used to talking about work and travel, the best new restaurants, and life as a married couple. Then all the sudden I was talking about poop, spit up, breastfeeding, sleep habits, and life as a new mother. Will I ever be able to carry on a normal conversation again? I don't blame you if you stop talking to me because your sick of hearing about my baby and how often he poops. But he's my favorite subject and I'll probably never stop passionately sharing how much I enjoy him.



Fifth, my hobbies are not practical. I remember my first week home and my first get together with other mothers. It seemed that to be a stay at home mom you needed to sew and know how to get six meals out of a bag of rice and a chicken, and become an avid collector of coupons. All of which are GREAT things to do. They've just never interested me before. Who said pottery, tennis, card making, and shoe collecting aren't practical? Perhaps I can find a more practical use for my impractical hobbies and in the meantime add a few more practical things to my repertoire.



Sixth, the things I listen to and read have changed dramatically. My normal favorite books have been replaced by Lucky the Duckling, Mom Mine, and The Hungry Caterpillar. My music consists of lullaby classics and other Itsy Bitsy Spider. I watch Sesame Street some mornings too. And at night when Ty is gone to sleep and Jeremy and I can watch anything we want, we watch video's of Ty. We may be a little obsessed and although our entertainment has changed, as I cuddled with my sweetie this morning during sesame street, had fun rubbing his nose with a feather during baby book time at the library, and enjoy dancing together at our weekly music classes, I'm happy to give up some of my favorite books, music, TV time, and movies to enjoy more of his everyday.



I'm getting more and more used to the new and improved me everyday and I wouldn't change a thing.