From the time we were old enough to really understand and appreciate it, my parents taught us to give to others who are less fortunate all year long, but especially at Christmas. I'm not sure they planned it this way, but maybe they did. The way I see it the lesson went like this:
As young children our Christmases were nothing but magic. It involved hunting for the tree, beautifully glowing decorations, stories of the birth of Jesus and Santa, reindeer bells jingling on the roof, laying in my parents bed looking out the window for a sleigh pulled by reindeer, always hoping for snow in Las Vegas, all of the siblings sleeping in the same room bursting with anticipation of Christmas morning, sending out spy's to see if Santa had arrived yet, making cookies, leaving carrots for the reindeer, waking up to a yummy breakfast and absolute joy from opening gifts. Pure magic.
As we became older, the opportunity for greater lessons came. My parents were great at helping us realize how much we had, and reminded us that there were those who had significantly less. One year they were brave enough to try an experiment. We had a family talk and together decided to give up some of our magic, to have a little less, to give others more. I remember wanting to do this, but a little part of me was struggling to give away my magic I had become accustom to. That year, as a young child, packing "Christmas in a Box", with everything from a small tree, to gifts, to Christmas dinner, to leave on the doorstep of a family who otherwise wouldn't have Christmas is my most memorable to date. And it changed me forever. That Christmas morning I did have less under the tree, but somehow it seemed like SO MUCH more.
From then on, that's just what we did for Christmas. Each year I wanted less and less for me as I came to realize I had everything I could ever want and need. The tradition of giving up to give more continued and still does today. I remember going along with my Dad to drop off envelopes of cash to families in dire need. I remember always giving, always inviting people over who needed a hot meal and a little family love. Always sharing some of the magic. And the more we shared, the more we got in return.
As we all grew older we wanted gifts less and less. For a while we drew names, then one year my parents upped the ante on their lesson of giving. They mailed a letter to each of us, letting us know their Christmas gift wish for that year. It was that each of us take the money we would spend on a gift to them and spend it on someone who needed it more. Then we were to write my parents a letter in return, telling them how we used the money and telling them how it felt. On Christmas morning they wanted to read the letters and that would be their gift. This continued for a while and they still have people over on Christmas who have no family or other place to go.
From then on the gift giving almost all but stopped for the adults. We all realized we have so much, how could we possible ask for more. We all felt that the money was better spent on people who needed it more. Christmas family get togethers involved gift opening for the children, and lots of happy talk, laughter, and eating for the adults. It was simple, low stress, and full of meaning. We left feeling FULL. And not just with food. We didn't leave feeling depleted of our energy because we'd worked so hard to make everything perfect and get everyone the perfect thing. We didn't miss the presents or the stress at all. Funny how giving those away to others brought us much more satisfaction and meaning than opening them ourselves. It allowed us to be more focused on what really mattered. We learned that our love for each other came everyday of the year in the form of actions, not gifts on one holiday. Who would have guessed that over the years our parents were teaching us that the greatest gift is in not getting any at all.
Like I said before, I'm not sure if they planned this life long lesson, but it's impact is powerful and lasting to me. It continues strong in each one of us. I watch my brothers and sisters each have more generous hearts and spirits than most people I know, including myself. I'm in awe at each of them and how much they truly understand and practice "Love Thy Neighbor". They give more than they have and it's not just at Christmas.
Mom and Dad, whether you know it or not I truly believe that was the lesson you taught. That and the importance of family. It was taught line upon line, as we were old enough to understand, and you taught us by example. You have no idea the power that lesson has had on each one of us. I think the actions of your children show it. My favorite part of Christmas is because of it.
I realized the power in this lesson recently as I was studying C.S. Lewis. He said that giving service is not really service at all unless you have to make a sacrifice. It's not real service unless it hurts a little. I reflected on how in my life I'm happy to give, but often it's after taking care I have everything I need and want first. In other words, it feels good, but doesn't really hurt. As a parent I now see how tempting it would have been for them to tell us we'd have less magic on Christmas, to give it away, but after we gave, to still provide it all for us in the end. But we never would have learned what we know now. Thank you for teaching us.
Their gift to their children has been their example of being Christlike and their Christmas gift to us the last few years has been a box of activities we can do with our families that focus on Christmas sent weeks before so we can enjoy each one as we approach the sacred holiday. They continue to do everything they can to help us focus on our families and the real meaning of the season. My mother has drilled into us the importance of family and how our own families come first. It's always been a priority for her to allow us time and freedom to create and enjoy our own family traditions this time of year and every holiday in addition to connecting with our larger family as a whole.
This is my favorite part of Christmas. It's the giving, it's family, it's Christ. It's realizing all we have and all we are is because of Him, it's a time to reflect and think about how we can become closer to Him and more like Him. It's the Christlike giving that brings the most joy. I will pass this lesson along to my own children, hopefully as beautifully and perfectly as my parents did for each of us. I also hope I continue to learn and grow in this area each year as I still have lots of learning and maturing to do.
No comments:
Post a Comment