Writing About Willa

Last night we went to Ikea (note to self: never go to Ikea on a Saturday night). We fed the boys at the restaurant there. We sat them at the little tables in front of the TV and watched from a distance as they ate and played and watched a movie. They moved around a lot and socialized with the other kids. Then Ty ran by her. Her name was Willa.

She was sitting in a highchair propped up with a blanket. She was tiny and beautiful and Ty couldn't help but stare. He stood right next to her chair just gazing at her. He couldn't pull himself away. Finally when he did he ran around a bit more, played with some toys, but always came back to Willa. He did this about four times. Willa's mom and dad were kind enough to not be bothered by his staring while they ate their dinner. They even talked with Ty. When it was time to go, Jeremy went to get Ty and he ran over to me and said, "Mom, you have to come see this baby. She's so cute and tiny. She has the smallest fingers and toes I've ever seen!" So he took me by the hand to meet her. She was a beautiful little girl. One of the most beautiful and tiny I've seen. Ty couldn't get enough of her and her parents went on and on about how Ty kept complimenting her.

I then bent over the best I could, looked Ty in the eyes and said, that's how big your new little brother is going to be. He jumped up and down with excitement! It was so cool. It's so fun to be expecting a baby and have him understand a little more this time and be so excited about it! As we left the restaurant, Ty broke free from my hand hold and ran back for one more look. Jeremy went and got him.

This morning I pulled out one of the new babies newborn onesies to show Ty how small he would be. He held the onesie like it was a little baby and went to show Jeremy how little it was. He is so excited. He's excited to sit in the middle of the back seat and I've talked to him about how I will need him to help the new baby in car and and at home. He just can't seem to wait. I know the feeling :)

When Cameron was born, although Ty understood a lot, he didn't fully understand what was taking place and struggled with it for a while after the birth. Now as I see his eyes light up at the thought of a baby as tiny as Willa coming home it's so fun to watch. He has cute questions like, "will Cameron still be our baby?" He also loves to put his hand on my tummy and feel baby move. He talks to him all the time and likes to play games where he pokes the baby and the baby kicks back.

Cameron is slightly younger than Ty was when I was this pregnant with him. I find that he understands so much more than I even know. Everyday he says several new words I've never heard before, and he's starting to bring me letters from the fridge and tell me what they are. But I don't know how much he knows about new baby. He does point to my tummy and say baby a lot but I often wonder what's going on in his little brain as he sees mommy getting bigger and bigger and more tired.

One thing I know is that I'm excited for these three boys to be brothers and see how they grow together. I'm excited to bring this baby home and often find myself, in the middle of those sleepless nights, looking down from the side of my bed, where this new baby will sleep for the first few months of his life. I wonder what he will look like, what kind of temperament he'll have, and how he'll like his new home. I can't wait to make him feel warm and loved and welcome here.