Walking In Her Shoes

Several weeks ago, after a particularly challenging day, I called my mother. I needed a hug, even though it would be by phone. I needed her unconditional love and support, and as always she knew it right away. Whenever I call my mom to "talk" I hate to just start out with "Hi, I've had a bad day and I need to talk". I usually like to talk about her day first and ease into it. But it never works. She knows. She hears it in my voice. Or perhaps it's just that motherly instinct. On this particular day she simply said, "Are you ok? Do you need my help?"

Now I hadn't said a word until now except "Hello, how are you?" But she knew. She knew her daughter needed her. Her 35 year old daughter still needed the help of her mother. When she asked me "Do you need my help?", my eyes filled with tears and my heart filled with love and I said "Yes". Within 24 hours she booked a flight to SLC to help me for a week while I finished up a big project at work.

My favorite thing about my mom is that she is so in tune with the spirit and with her children that she just knows. And I wonder if it's even before she picks up the phone! And when she does help you, she never makes you feel bad, or inadequate, or like you are weak. She doesn't lecture you on what you could be doing better. She never points out all those who have it worse than you or who appear to be doing it much better than you. She would never think of doing that.

She swoops in like superwoman, saving the day, picking up the pieces, holding it all together, and in the process makes you feel like you're the greatest thing that ever lived. Thank you my sweet mother. You have no idea how much you helped me and how much I needed you. You saved me!

Now that I have a baby all my own, I'm getting to experience that love a mother has for a child. And it's really neat to think, as I'm holding Ty in my arms and staring at him while he's sleeping, that my mother did that with me. I'm now getting to walk in her shoes. And everyday as I care for Ty I think to myself "My mother did this for me." I can't believe how much it's made me appreciate my sweet mom and all she does for her seven children.

When she was here, she gave me a book by Jane Clayson Johnson called I'm Am a Mother and it's a wonderful short book about this highest and noblest calling. I would encourage anyone who is a mom, who is thinking of becoming a mom, or who has a mom to read it.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I LOVE being a mom. Words can't even begin to describe what it's like. I could have NEVER imagined how amazing this would be. The joy is so overwheming it will bring you to your knees, happy tears of will pour down your cheeks, and your heart will fill with so much love you literally think it's going to burst. No one can explain it, you just have to experience it. And I know without a doubt that had I not had the opportunity to be a mother in this life, my Father in Heaven would have allowed me that opportunity in the next.

I'm very proud to say that I am a mother. That's what I do. And I know I'm good at it. When you love someone that much how can you not be good at it? Ty gets my very best and nothing less. No matter how tired, or frustrating the work of being a mother becomes, I take a deep breath and give him all the love and tenderness my soul possesses. That's what he deserves and I can't afford to give him anything less. Heavenly Father has trusted me with his noble little soul and I accept that responsibility with all my heart. I promised little Ty before he was born that I would be the best I could be for him. I promised him all my love, all my patience, all of my tenderness, all of my knowledge, all of my strength, all of my courage, all my energy, and all my heart. Now I know I won't always be perfect and that I'm sure I'll make mistakes along the way. But I am doing, and promise to keep doing the very best for him.

Now I understand more clearly why my mother just "knew" I needed her, and why she was willing, without even being asked, to drop everything and come rescue me. I would do anythign for this little boy of mine. Anything. Thanks mom for being willing to do anything for me. I am the mom that I am today because of you.

Women's Health expert Christiane Northrup said this "Our mother provides us with our first experience of nurturing. She is our first and most powerful female role model. It is from her that we learn what it is to be a woman....Our cells divided and grew to the beat of her heart. Our skin, hair, heart, lungs, and bones were nourished by her blood, blood that was awash with with the neurochemicals formed in response to her thoughts, beliefs, and emotions. If she was fearful or anxious...our bodies knew it. If she felt safe, happy, and fulfilled, we felt that too. Every daughter contains her mother..."

I'm so thankful I contain my mother. And I'm so happy that I was able, with the beating of my heart and the nourishment of my blood to create such an amazing little boy. He contains part of me, and part of his father, and is a beautiful extension of the safe, happy, and fulfilled feelings we have. He contains all of our thoughts, beliefs, and emotions. He brings us so much happiness sometimes we can hardly believe it. We are so thankful for him, and to my mother. Without her, I'd never have this experience. I can't express that enough! I love you mom. Thank you.

Since this post is dedicated to you my sweet mommacita, here are what I know you love most, updated photos of your grandson! Enjoy!

Ty can sit up now! And he loves it. Don't even try to lay him down. Sitting only please.

On a hike last Saturday Ty picked a flower for his momma.

Yum, Ty loves prunes!

Getting ready for dinner!

The two cutest and best boys that ever lived!