For me, when I tried to do work and mommy stuff, I was just torn in my heart. More than anything else I wanted to spend every waking moment with Ty. I love caring for him. I've honestly never thought "oh if I have to change another diaper I'll go crazy!". But if you do think that, it's probably more normal. I love any and every opportunity to care for this sweet boy, even if it involves a lot of poop.
There is no right or wrong way, no way that's better than another...just what's best for you and what you feel is right in your heart. I've had people ask if I felt like I was giving up who I am to stay home. Others have commented on what a noble decision I made. To be honest, I didn't do anything noble, or make any kind of personal sacrifice. I really admire those who do make hard sacrifices and make noble decisions, but for me this is simply what I wanted and it makes me feel very fulfilled and happier than I ever thought possible. This is who I really am.
Whatever a mother decides is best for her and her children I think she's amazing and I am in awe at all that goes into this wonderful opportunity. I'm so saddened when I hear people judging the decisions others make. None of us know what another is going through, what strengths and weaknesses they've been blessed with, what circumstances make up their daily lives, and what feelings they have in their heart.
Being a mother, no matter what way you do it is amazing and I couldn't be happier doing it. My thankfulness comes today from being able to do it the way my heart wants to. What a blessing that is. I feel so thankful for that.
Here are some of the cute things our little family has been up to lately!
Nothing like seeing Ty and his daddy cuddling up together.
And have a Popsicle stick tug-o-war!
I guess he found what he was looking for!
This is one of Ty's new favorite thing. He stands in the window and yells and laughs and waves at anyone who is outside. Luckily he has two friends right next door who love to do the same thing. They communicate quite frequently with each other through windows. And for those of you who know the Avenues, our houses are really close together so this works great!
And here is Daddy's secret to getting Ty to cuddle so much. He gives him chocolate!
It works for me too.
And here is Daddy's secret to getting Ty to cuddle so much. He gives him chocolate!It works for me too.
7 comments:
It's about time you posted again- I check your blog every day! I love everything you had to say and I agree whole-heartedly! When Jonathan and I were first married, I tried the "stay-at-home" and HATED it for the first year. I felt the way you mentioned some mothers feel- completely "unfulfilled" and it felt like such a sacrifice! Then I had Jace and couldn't imagine NOT being home! I lived for his accomplishments and loved every minute of it (almost). It was much easier learning to care for him in my own way than taking over where someone else left off. I absolutely adore my step-kids and think of them as my own, however it took having a child of my own to "change" me! That was a long comment- sorry to babble!
I love you Sonja Cox!!!
Though I never call, I too am an avid "and then there were three" reader, and was getting worried that you'd taken off to Mexico. You MUST blog everyday!
THANKS for the perfect message.
In the last month I took a new job that I adore AND had to put Zoe in daycare. I knew I'd be on the "also fulfilled in the workplace" side of the fence, but I never dreamed that leaving my little one with strangers (even the best trained, most caring strangers I could find) would be SO HARD. I cry every day over the choices I've made, but I know that in the long run this really will be best for me AND for my family.
Thanks for understanding and for supporting all of us in the awesome way that only you can!
Hi Sonja! So fun to see your blog and your adorable little one! He's has grown so much. I love to see him dancing and read about his talking, and all his cuteness!
Amen on all you said about motherhood and balancing work. It's just one of those choices every woman needs to make herself, and not listen to anybody who gives her grief.
- Katie
Yes! Yes! Yes! I am so excited that you started posting/commenting again! And what a great thing to post about. Gosh I wish being a mom came as naturally to be as it seems to you. I feel fulfilled, but man do I still feel like a dummy! But I sure do love my boy.
Ty is a smart little guy for liking chocolate. I love to hear how social he is :)
So what are you guys doing in NY? That sounds like a fun place to go! For long trips...Usually we take red-eye flights so luckily I have been able to get Thomas to sleep (especially since I was still nursing then). And I will admit we have done benadryl for a couple and it knocked him out cold. Other distracting things I've done are meals, books, toy cars, coloring, playing with the cup or can the "free" drink comes in...pretty much anything/everything to distract (seatbelt monster-whatever!). We dowloaded some little einsteins to our iPod, but he isn't a tv watcher so that only engaged him for like 10 min., but maybe Ty would watch longer. Anyway let me know if you have any other questions or you just want to chat: JamieLynetteJohnson[at]gmail[dot]com
Ty will do great he is such an easy going kid. And that is why we all love him!
Great post! I think that we moms (stay-at-home AND working) need to give ourselves a pat on our backs and trust our intuition more. We were given this spritual gift for a reson and we need to trust it more (Me most of all). I'm glad to know you guys!
I am so happy for you that you get to stay home and take care of your sweet little one. I bet it is a joy to get to see him learn new things...and be there as it happens!
Those pics are too cute!
You make such a great point... one I didn't really understand until I became a mom myself. It really is unfair to judge someone else when you do not understand their circumstances and reasoning. It's hard enough to keep yourself happy about the choices you make, than worrying about what others think. Great point!
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