What He Teaches Me...

Yesterday Ty had a major meltdown over some finger paints. He's a two year old and has regular meltdowns over things that seem really insignificant to me, but aren't to him.

Anyways, he wanted to pour the paint himself and I thought that it was a horrible idea to give an open jar of paint to a toddler so I said no. He cried so hard and asked over and over again. The tears were just streaming down his face. You would have thought something really major was happening to him. I told him he needed to stop crying really nicely over and over and then in a little more stressed out voice. I don't yell, but I did sound exasperated.

Finally after my last "Ty, you have to stop crying" He looked at me with huge tears running down his cheeks and said "Mom, I'm really trying but I just can't". This little honest phrase hit me so hard and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since. He was so sincere. He was not trying to manipulate me, he was just being totally honest. He was feeling an intense emotion and couldn't just turn it off upon request. It's amazing a two year old could express that.

I thought a lot the rest of that day how many times I've been upset or hurt or sad and if someone had said to me "just stop" I couldn't have either. I probably would have thought the same thing "I'm really trying, but I just can't".

My job as his mom isn't to tell him to stop feeling emotions, (and boy do two year olds feel emotions!) it's to help him work through it on his own and over time teach him what is a big deal and what isn't. I need to realize that for him, not getting to pour paint all over the kitchen might be just as big a deal as if my best friend betrayed me.

I often try to help him recognize his feelings and always make sure he knows I hear him and understand what is making him upset, but sometimes I think, this is so not a big deal, what's your problem? Just stop crying! But to him it is a big deal.

After putting the paints away (and me not giving in) he spent some quiet time in his room until he calmed down enough to move on to something else.

It was a big lesson for me and I learned it all from my amazing two year old son :) I love you Ty!